Long Hot Everton Summer
Have you posted ‘Why don’t they just wind the club up and put us out of our misery?’ online somewhere, same as every other summer? Rich people are doing what rich people do at the moment, it seems, as...
View ArticlePreston North End 0 Everton 3
Happy now? Two goals from new signings and a stroll in the Lancashire sunshine for Sean Dyche’s tantalising Toffees. Dyche and Kevin Thelwell have a lot to manage at the moment, and sometimes they...
View ArticleIpswich Town 0 Everton 2
It’s a right royal pain in the puncture when you have your story more or less written in your head and then Everton go and spoil it. The theme, following a swashbuckling Tractor Boy triumph, was going...
View ArticleDavid Moyes 2: Electric Boogaloo
Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss. In what has to be most unsurprising move ever, David Moyes is the latest recipient of the tried and trusted Goodison Park pension-pot top-up. He’s being...
View ArticleLovefoxxx (Leicester Preview)
Be honest, these beating Tottenham – do they still say ‘down the Lane’? – kind of took the gloss off our win a little bit. If they hadn’t come back and got three points there as well, then Saturday’s...
View ArticleEverton 4 Leicester City 0
And his momma cried. Well then, the watery-eyed wizard has only gone and done it again. As someone who was more lenient towards Sean Dyche than most – and who still thinks he’s deserving of being...
View ArticleTake Me To The River
As someone who prefers going for a pint in town, it’s about time they moved the match closer. Anyway, Sunday morning’s juxtaposition of sweaty half-marathoners in the their day-glo Hokas, and...
View ArticleEverton 2 Southampton 0 (Glass, Concrete and Stone)
Everton, like happiness, is just a state of mind. The day we’ve all been dreading ended up pretty much perfect. A moment of history we were absolutely privileged to be part of. Like those fellas years...
View ArticleFred (again)
Everything’s content. But nobody’s content. As the dystopian ‘football without end’ that George Orwell predicted grinds on through the summer, the understanding is that David Moyes and Angus Kinnear...
View ArticleThierno Barry Can’t Swim
Seat Unique. The finest chair you ever gonna meet. You can have that one for free, Everton. And while we’re on a musical ‘tip’, whatever that means: ‘He is a Toffee man, he comes from far away. And he...
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