Doncaster Rovers 1 Everton 2
Did the trajectory of Everton’s season, and indeed Sean Dyche’s whole managerial career, change on 72 minutes at the Eco-Power Stadium? You have watched the moment on repeat now, when Abdoulaye...
View ArticleEverton 0 Arsenal 1 (Working for the Yankee dollar)
First thing’s first. Do you reckon West Ham’s loss to Manchester City ruined Russell Brand’s weekend? I used to love his horoscopes as well. Looking at the stars, he probably would have predicted an...
View ArticleAston Villa Preview
Well, it’s more of a very late Brentford match report, but no one would read that on a Tuesday. You have to think of the algorithm these days, and standing out on Newsnow among all the weird articles...
View ArticleEverton 1 Luton Town 2
And so, just like that, the Goodison Park pendulum of catastrophe swings back to ‘just wind the club up and give us our Saturdays back’. Buoyed by resurgent performances against Brentford and Aston...
View ArticleEverton 3 Bournemouth 0
Message to Josh Wander. Stop ringing my Nan. Have you read the email? I have to confess, I haven’t. Regardless of the content though, just how weird did it look? Someone who doesn’t own the club being...
View ArticleThe Man in the Arena
So the rumours are true and Bill Kenwright leaves us for the great Boys Pen in the sky, and takes with him forever the secret of ‘the Arteta money’. Now is not the time to debate his legacy or descend...
View ArticleWest Ham 0 Everton 1
A Cruyff turn past that centre-half who looks like Rishi Sunak, a swish – yes, a swish – of the right boot, and Dominic Calvert-Lewin capped arguably one of his best complete centre-forward displays...
View ArticleAddendum to West Ham report
I knew there was something to add to that rant about the ‘the game’ and refereeing in particular. What’s the biggest root cause of the issues with trying to referee professional football? Why is it so...
View ArticleBrighton Preview
Everton are on a roll following their straightforward – and actually quite boring – dismissal of Burnley in midweek. Roberto de Zerbi’s heat-map heart-throbs will undoubtedly prove a tougher...
View ArticleCrystal Palace 2 Everton 3
Eze is good. Eze is good. Eberichi Eze is good. The latest off the Crystal Palace production line of tricky forwards gave Everton all sorts of problems at Selhurst Park. However, this incarnation of...
View Article10 (TEN) Points
1. We are biased because we are Evertonians, so you have to do your best to look at these things objectively. 2. The Premier League is at best run by incompetent twats. At worst, it’s a corrupt cartel...
View ArticleNottingham Forest 0 Everton 1
Show me the way to play Murillo. There’s no overstating just what a massive result this is for the tricky Toffees, especially allied to Brentford’s Neal Maupay-inspired defeat of Luton Town. After the...
View ArticleListen Like Thieves
Angry was good fun. The pink leaflets and booing the Premier League anthem and issuing an open letter to that lad off Sky who then explained why he was broadcasting from the Wirral and made everyone...
View ArticleLong Hot Everton Summer
Have you posted ‘Why don’t they just wind the club up and put us out of our misery?’ online somewhere, same as every other summer? Rich people are doing what rich people do at the moment, it seems, as...
View ArticlePreston North End 0 Everton 3
Happy now? Two goals from new signings and a stroll in the Lancashire sunshine for Sean Dyche’s tantalising Toffees. Dyche and Kevin Thelwell have a lot to manage at the moment, and sometimes they...
View ArticleIpswich Town 0 Everton 2
It’s a right royal pain in the puncture when you have your story more or less written in your head and then Everton go and spoil it. The theme, following a swashbuckling Tractor Boy triumph, was going...
View ArticleDavid Moyes 2: Electric Boogaloo
Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss. In what has to be most unsurprising move ever, David Moyes is the latest recipient of the tried and trusted Goodison Park pension-pot top-up. He’s being...
View ArticleLovefoxxx (Leicester Preview)
Be honest, these beating Tottenham – do they still say ‘down the Lane’? – kind of took the gloss off our win a little bit. If they hadn’t come back and got three points there as well, then Saturday’s...
View ArticleEverton 4 Leicester City 0
And his momma cried. Well then, the watery-eyed wizard has only gone and done it again. As someone who was more lenient towards Sean Dyche than most – and who still thinks he’s deserving of being...
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