Euro Diary – Day 1
I’m assuming you watched Time. If not, you should. It’s about as good as the telly gets. The violence is obviously horrific, but even more affecting is watching the characters deal with the deep...
View ArticleSort of Actual Diary
I can’t be arsed trying to write actual articles so we’re going stream-of-consciousness. This genuinely should be of little interest to anyone and to be honest it’s only because I’m a tight-arse and...
View Article24 July (redux)
The Olympics is on from Tokyo. Boxer Peter McGrail has gone out in the first round this morning, which a surprise and a shame – he was a genuine medal hope. And an Evertonian. The Blues are being...
View Article25 July 2021 (actually)
Just watched some kid from Doncaster lose narrowly in the taekwondo final. It’s boss. Starts out in the first round as Enter The Dragon. By the time they finish the third, shattered, it’s more like...
View Article26 July 2021 (open top bus day)
The first silverware of the Benitez era, the prestigious (well it is now) Florida Cup, arrives courtesy of the Blues’ win in Orlando against ‘crack’ Colombian outfit, Millonarios. I woke up to a selfie...
View Article27 July 2021 (comedown)
While the players bask in the glory of their Florida Cup victory, and prepare for tomorrow’s game against Pumas (pronounced Poomas), Rafael Benitez works tirelessly to strengthen his squad. Well he...
View Article28 July 2021 (off grid)
Joaquin Correa sounds like an advert for a hitman at the Job Centre. Talking of ‘sounds likes’, we’re apparently back in for my all-time favourite, the Inter Milan defender who sounds like what South...
View Article29 July 2021 (vogue)
There’s more than a hint of the kaftan in the design of Everton’s new third kit, which debuted yesterday. Dominic Calvert-Lewin models it on the official site, and all you really need to know is that...
View Article30 July 2021 (damp)
I keep hearing people saying the weather is biblical. There’s one flood in that bible, across both books, the rest of the time the sun’s cracking the fucking flags. There’s not going to be a new series...
View Article31 July 2021 (filler)
‘Head over the ball, Toby. And strike through the target! 14-nil! Sometimes I really do suspect you don’t have the necessary grit. Now go and fetch the ball, second half starts in five minutes.’...
View Article10 August 2021 (anticipation)
‘Penalty, Toby! Remember how I showed you. Pull your stockings up like a kiss-a-gram, run up like Ian Curtis and…Jesus Christ!’ Richarlison comes home from the Tokyo Olympics with a gold medal but...
View Article12 August 2021 (techno)
Letting the people who have paid into the ground has been a reasonably straightforward process for the past two centuries. In the digital (or are we post-digital now?) age though, when man can send...
View Article16 August (game)
I don’t think we will ever forget this day. The emotion was almost overwhelming at times. Not the actual match, although that was chaotic and glorious in itself, but seeing faces that you haven’t set...
View Article19 August 2021 (15 storeys)
We could have done without Leeds getting battered on Saturday. The first game back at Elland Road after all that COVID jazz was always going to be a frenetic occasion. But after being Rampton-romanced...
View Article8 September 2021 (hiatus)
Well then, the footy and that. Been alright, hasn’t it. Leeds looked potentially a bastard of a game in the circumstances but the Toffees took it in their stride and were a bit disappointed to not take...
View Article15 September 2021 (distilled)
Seven minutes of mayhem turned a dreary game into a memorable Goodison occasion. I’m going to level with you, an afternoon sampling the standard Monday book bedlam in Coopers meant a lot of the details...
View Article7th October (spanish bombs)
Imagine if there’s any truth to this rumour that Newcastle United’s potential new owners are willing to ‘cut your hands off’ to make Rafael Benitez the replacement for Steve Bruce. It’s one thing Carlo...
View Article29th December (incisive)
If the virus disproportionately affects Jamaican males is it in fact a mandemic? That’s it, nothing more to see here. Everton aren’t playing until Newcastle have made a load of loan signings of fellas...
View ArticleNorwich City 2 Everton 1
The plan is to write this first bit before the game then cover ‘the action’ further down. The Canaries have been absolutely abysmal this season but still, it’s an indicator of just how poorly Everton...
View ArticleRandom Everton Musings
Exactly what it says on the tin. Farhad Moshiri isn’t stupid There’s an old saying, ‘Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile on his luxury yacht.’ Everton’s owner is badly advised and...
View Article