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Sceptred Isle Diary Day 6
Blimey, we take a few days break and that happens. Britain – apologies – GREAT Britain, has seemingly turned overnight into the goth teenager of Europe, defiantly scratching SCUM into its arm with the...
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Euro Diary Day 7
Well then, as ever when you reach the semi-finals of a tournament the whole momentum starts to slow down thanks to the increasing gaps between the games and the cagey nature of knockout football at...
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15 to 20
So then, Axel Witsel’s signing. Oh hang on, no he’s not now. But he might be. Although probably not. You should just ignore all the transfer guff, but it’s hard to when loads of bizarre websites are...
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Yannick at the Disco!
Or Yannick on the streets of London. Please don’t link to where these lines have been used before – ever since we were linked with Fitz Hall we get it, some bleeder on the internet somewhere has made...
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West Bromwich Albion 1 Everton 2
That Diego Costa is now only a little pipe and a hat away from being the Sampdoria badge. Not that that’s got anything to do with Ronald Koeman’s first Premier League win in charge of the County Road...
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Take The Money and Run
‘Walshy. Walshy! What’s going on, lad? You’ve only got one job and quite frankly you’ve completely and utterly Clifford Finched it.’ Transfer deadline day came and went – quite a while ago now, we...
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After The Disco
It’s actually customary in fanzine-land to do an article entitled New Dawn Fades round about now. We wish we’d done something the other week, after the Sunderland or Boro games, because we could have...
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Wooly Bully
Oh Sam! No one wears an open-throated shirt quite like that brawny slab of manhood. They can never take that from him. It was inevitable that Le Grand Sam was going to get dragged out behind the Soho...
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Friday Night Shites
Bit unfair that title, but if they go and win against Crystal Palace we won’t be able to use it. Th’Eagles have started the season pretty well – as have Everton apart from the last couple of games,...
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Who’s Koeman Who?
Boss, that, Everton. Boss. We were meant to bounce back, come out fighting, show what we’re made of with a point to prove and all the other things that you say after Chelsea have made you squeal like a...
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Keep The Car Running
Well then, 2016, the year when loads of famous people shuffled off this mortal coil, the British public voted to cut off their noses to spite their faces, and not the faces of the ‘hordes’ of...
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On Hold
It’s a results business, football. And results tend to form the prism through which you view your club and, in particular, its manager. When Roberto Martinez won games he was a man who had a vision and...
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Everton 2 Sunderland 0
Oh Gana Gueye, we’re glad you scored a goal yesterday… It was quite a sight, the whole of the Enclosure doing an Andy McCluskey dance when Everton’s Senegalese midfield monster clipped his shot smartly...
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Sound and Vision
So long Alex Young. Many of us never saw him play in the flesh, and indeed footage of the Golden Vision is also pretty scant. It’s probably more what he represented then that will be missed by most. He...
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To Err Is Koeman
Except he didn’t err this week, did he? Quite the opposite, as the Toffees saw off the Baggies in a quite straightforward manner. Tony Pulis, who looks more like something from Wind In the Willows with...
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Hull City Preview
Can you mention Romelu Lukaku’s ‘super agent’ without singing his name as the opening line of Heaven 17’s Temptation? Well, you can’t now. Anyway, Mini Raiola’s onion-bag-bulging Belgian beefcake is...
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Everton 4 Hull City 0
Everton at home. We all turn up. Romelu Lukaku scores. The Toffees take all the points. You know the dance by now. On a lousy day, with the weather wetter than an otter’s pocket, no one fancies a side...
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Moving Away From Home
So, are we fucking moving or what? Well, dear reader, it appears that the wheels are in motion, with last week’s announcement that the club – was it the club? – have bought the land at Bramley Moore...
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Everton 3 Burnley 1
Move closer. Don’t worry, we’re not going to take a swing at you. It’s been a rum old time for Ross Barkley – starting with playing great against Leicester City and answering his critics to a degree,...
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Like A Ship
When Neil Diamond drove the Arsenal team bus did he used to shout, ‘Coquelin, Ramsey. Get on board’? What? It’s all down hill from here, to be honest. Is there anything to add? It was obvious from...
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